The sense of loss

It has been 100 days of treatment, with about 60 of them spent at the hospital. While the way life has changed has sunk in very well, the sense of loss is only now beginning to register.
Well, this is something I would call a first world problem, given that K is responding well to treatment. Deeper down- it is a lot more for us. Most of us don't ponder over the subject of our mortality till a much older age.
When you think about it, you realise that life is very uncertain and any moment can be your last. But cancer changes that at a very basic level. It takes away your right to treat death as an unpredictable element. It makes mortality that much real, way before its years in our case. And that brings with it a sense of loss that cannot be explained in words.
So what do you do? Where do you go from here? Well, we hope to spend some time figuring that out. Yes, being positive is important but living in a fool's paradise has never been our thing.