Living in fear

We live in all kinds of fear. The fear of losing loved ones, the fear of losing financial security, the fear of being physically or mentally unfit to lead happy lives..the list goes on. Most of us are forced to face these fears, head-on at least once in our lifetime. Many of us continue to face them throughout our lives and that just becomes our new normal.

One of the reasons cancer is so dreaded is the fear of relapse. Once you have been with this disease for the first time, you never want to face that trauma again. But then is it not true for any disease or unpleasant incident in our lives? Who would want to revisit a heart attack or a car accident or the loss of a loved one?

Yet, we continue to live and thrive in the background noise of our past miseries.
Yes, we humans are super resilient. We move on. The painful memories fade over time, and they come rushing back on some days.

Nobody is living without fear in this world. Everyone has their demons. Clearly, K and I have signed up for ours.  Here's hoping we will develop our method for living with this fear.

Choose wisely

We are a week away from the finish line. Next Tuesday, we hope to see the end of the most gruelling part of the disease- chemotherapy. There will still be more to go for a couple of years, but it will pale in comparison to what you have already been through.

It will be 6 months, since the nightmare began. We have certainly come a long way. You have certainly come a long way. No one can gauge the length of the last 6 months better than you. It's true what they say- cancer strips you of everything. Your sense of self, your ego and more often than not- your dignity.

We are more humble than when we started out, and a little fearful about the future. But this journey was not our choice. What we learnt is that we have far less control over our lives than we imagine. And that's why, in every moment that you have the luxury of choice- choose wisely.